Dear Maju
I stood there by the entrance of my parents' room in dread as I watched my my most horrifying scenery, i have not even seen in a movie.
I hardly know what true love is, Dad was always too busy working or cheating on mom and mom was often falling sick and hardly had time for my brother and I as she was always in and out of the hospital.
I had two uncles always taking care of us but there was always something missing, parental attention.
Born with a silver spoon,money was never everything, though everyone thought I was a happy princess, I was a loner who was never alone. Despite mom's frail health, Dad never spared her as he would abuse her verbally emotionally and physically, my brother and I would stand and watch their fights so we got used to it, but it made I and my brother aggressive. That particular night, I left my room and headed for my parents' room cause I was scared of the creepiness of the dark and wanted to be with them, what I met there was terrible,
Dad was on top of her, strangling mommy!!. As a five year old I watched her struggling for air flinging her hands, grappling for any assistance to fend him off to no avail and finally laid still. I was horrified to the marrow, mom can't be dead. Dad realizing what had happened, panicking rushed her to the hospital and when he came back home,
I was crying and screaming at him, where is my mummy!!! Did you kill her and gone to bury her. My Dad immediately rushed out of the house and didn't sleep at home that night, I was petrified, sleep never came that night, nightmares after nightmares, thank God somehow light was on through the night, as a young girl i didn't and still couldn't comprehend the horror. Daylight came I ran to school the only place I could remember and told my class teacher about last night incident, she prayed with me and we rushed to visit mommy at the family hospital.
When mom came back home, her family members asked her to pack our belongings because she must leave dad house that day. She refused to go saying she wouldn't put her children into the trauma of single parenting, that day everyone went back home. A few weeks later the punching and abuse routines continued and mom started having miscarriages.
I saw the agony she was dealing with as i began to mature, that night incident and blood of my younger ones started tormenting me and till date I feel responsible for all she has gone through. Dad never has anything to do with our education, he calls us bastard, he knows virtually nothing about our lives. Our mom was always does everything to please him but he is never satisfied.
My brother and I were always studying hard to please my dad but he never says anything good to us whenever we bring home a prize.
I am an extrovert who makes friends easily but am always still tormented by the nightmares. I am sixteen now and have started walking to the path of feminism. I have been living with the torment of that strangling sight for 11 years.
Though the abuses continues, mom prefers to stick to him for her children's sake. Sometimes I have thoughts of suicide, other times I paint pictures of a fantasy family and pray my wishes become horses so I could ride to wonderland to see Alice. My heart is weary most times, I read somewhere in the holy book that God cares for me,
I pray he does more about my mum, not my dad. Please drop your comments here.....this is my story, what should I do, I can't leave home for long without supervision, I still somehow don't hate my dad, but I wish my mum would just leave with us and go anywhere far away from him. I read a lot, so your advice would be great for me.....
I hardly know what true love is, Dad was always too busy working or cheating on mom and mom was often falling sick and hardly had time for my brother and I as she was always in and out of the hospital.
I had two uncles always taking care of us but there was always something missing, parental attention.
Born with a silver spoon,money was never everything, though everyone thought I was a happy princess, I was a loner who was never alone. Despite mom's frail health, Dad never spared her as he would abuse her verbally emotionally and physically, my brother and I would stand and watch their fights so we got used to it, but it made I and my brother aggressive. That particular night, I left my room and headed for my parents' room cause I was scared of the creepiness of the dark and wanted to be with them, what I met there was terrible,
Dad was on top of her, strangling mommy!!. As a five year old I watched her struggling for air flinging her hands, grappling for any assistance to fend him off to no avail and finally laid still. I was horrified to the marrow, mom can't be dead. Dad realizing what had happened, panicking rushed her to the hospital and when he came back home,
I was crying and screaming at him, where is my mummy!!! Did you kill her and gone to bury her. My Dad immediately rushed out of the house and didn't sleep at home that night, I was petrified, sleep never came that night, nightmares after nightmares, thank God somehow light was on through the night, as a young girl i didn't and still couldn't comprehend the horror. Daylight came I ran to school the only place I could remember and told my class teacher about last night incident, she prayed with me and we rushed to visit mommy at the family hospital.
When mom came back home, her family members asked her to pack our belongings because she must leave dad house that day. She refused to go saying she wouldn't put her children into the trauma of single parenting, that day everyone went back home. A few weeks later the punching and abuse routines continued and mom started having miscarriages.
I saw the agony she was dealing with as i began to mature, that night incident and blood of my younger ones started tormenting me and till date I feel responsible for all she has gone through. Dad never has anything to do with our education, he calls us bastard, he knows virtually nothing about our lives. Our mom was always does everything to please him but he is never satisfied.
My brother and I were always studying hard to please my dad but he never says anything good to us whenever we bring home a prize.
I am an extrovert who makes friends easily but am always still tormented by the nightmares. I am sixteen now and have started walking to the path of feminism. I have been living with the torment of that strangling sight for 11 years.
Though the abuses continues, mom prefers to stick to him for her children's sake. Sometimes I have thoughts of suicide, other times I paint pictures of a fantasy family and pray my wishes become horses so I could ride to wonderland to see Alice. My heart is weary most times, I read somewhere in the holy book that God cares for me,
I pray he does more about my mum, not my dad. Please drop your comments here.....this is my story, what should I do, I can't leave home for long without supervision, I still somehow don't hate my dad, but I wish my mum would just leave with us and go anywhere far away from him. I read a lot, so your advice would be great for me.....
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